thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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