They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize