Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
