Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
