Will you blow on my dice?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
