half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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