I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
