My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
50% drunk capacity currently
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
