i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I FOUND THE LEGS
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
