can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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