Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
