if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
