why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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