I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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