My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
