there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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