I think my vagina is haunted
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
