You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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