Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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