doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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