Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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