you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
