I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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