you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
