Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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