i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
