So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
