remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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