I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he had hair everywhere except his balls
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
