The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
