What a fucking waste of an outfit
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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