shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
