So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
