i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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