so explain again why im purple
no
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
