Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
