guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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