Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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