i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
