the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
