i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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