Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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