I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
