Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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