Moan for me like Helen Keller
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
there is puke in my bra ... again
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