I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
