i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
