I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
