Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
