You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
