So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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